So Kevin asked me very simple question today. "How are you?".
People ask this question all the time. "Hey dude what's up, how are you doin?"
But nobody really cares about the answer. And if they do they expect you to be negative.
This is how it goes in Czech. If people ask you how are you doing you are supposed to say "Mhmm could have been better" or "not really good actually."
Cause if you honestly say "Hey I am great!!! I'm doing really good at school, I have the best friends in the world and my family is making me really happy" it means that you're showing off and you want to make people jealous.
That's the reason why I'm done with howareyou questions.
When I'm doing really bad I usually don't want a lot of people to know. I'm not that kind of person, I don't want everyone to feel sorry for me. And I know people know how to hurt you when you are not strong enough to defend yourself.
And when I'm doing really good.. I need to talk about it a little more than just answer the howareyou question.
But actually I've been thinking about this "howareyou" problem a lot lately.
It's really funny and ironic but for the past few weeks (or even months) I've been doing really good. I mean it. Of course I have a bad days, couple of fights and other problems but if I'd write down my +/- list it would be pretty positive.
But at the same time it seems like my life is a one big bad luck for the past two or three weeks. Seriously!
Everytime I come to the bus stop I see the bus leaving. Everytime!!! I always forget my wallet at home, I'm loosing my keys and my cellphone 2 times a day (on an average), I spent 4 hours in two days waiting in an office to get one stupid certification and they always told me that the system failed, when I'm finally lucky enough to catch my bus I always forget to get off at the right place, I get lost at the places and I have to ask people to help me, my cellphone dies every single time I actually NEED it... it's all creepy!!! But I'm having so much fun. Honestly! It makes me smile. I feel like Jepichodov character in Checkov's play The Cherry Orchard.
It seems to be my destiny.
Yes I don't really enjoy missing my bus three times a day but it doesn't ruin my life (at least I hope) so it's fun.
But let's get to the point. I realized that I am really happy. I mean it. I have a lot of work to do and that work makes me really happy. I enjoy every minute thinking about the choreography I'm working on. I got together the best dancers I could ever prayed for and we have a lot of fun working on it. I have no problem with my family and friends I see their love every single minute and dude that's so awesome! It really is!!! I love when people ask me for help or when they offer me to join some interesting project, I love playing mikado and watching spongebob with my little sister and I love singing and reading her "An Awesome Book". I love singing and dancing in the night when I'm walking my dog. I love bringing yummi things to school so it can make our rough day not that rough. I love my week being really busy, I love not having a day off (of course I need it sometimes but that actually makes it so special). I am just enjoying my life. Not 100% but 10000%. I haven't had a sleepless night for more then 3 months probably because I just always fall asleep immediately after an amazing busy day.
And what breaks my heart is that people are too scared or just to blind to admit that their life is pretty amazing too. That they should be really happy and enjoy every minute of it.
I fully realized this friday. I spent two hours volunteering in an orphanage as every friday.
But this friday I took care of a little girl named Kristyna (just like my little sister).
She is one of the most beautiful kids I've ever seen. She has big blue eyes, smooth blonde hair and an angel face. She's 4 years old and man... she is the sweetest and the most grateful kid I've ever seen. Those two hours we spent by reading books, painting and playing boardgames seemed like ten minutes to me. And when I had to leave her crying and asking me if I'm ever coming back it just broke my heart.
Literally.
Wonderful beautiful child like her was begging me not to leave her...
And I'm asking you. All of you people who keep complaining about your cellphones, about your computers, about your job, about your partner, about your parents...
How are you? Are you really that bad? Would you beg a strange girl to come to see you again cause you have nobody else in this world? No??
Where the heck is the problem then???
I am sorry for being offensive.. but this just breaks my heart. I am not saying that I am perfect. Nobody is. I know I've done a lot of really bad things in my life and some of them are still showing up even though I'm really trying to forget and never do them again. But as one wise boy said "That's my history and I can't change it. It's a part of me."
This is exactly how I feel. I'm really sorry for all the bad things I've done. I am.
I could spend whole day apologizing and it would still not be enough.
I can't change what happened. I could never join those facebook groups like "I hate liars" or
"I hate bitches who cheat" cause I've been there.
But I can try not to do those things again.
Be honest to myself. Be good. Be happy.
And when somebody asks me "How are you?" the answer will be "Great!".
I'm pretty sure about that.
People ask this question all the time. "Hey dude what's up, how are you doin?"
But nobody really cares about the answer. And if they do they expect you to be negative.
This is how it goes in Czech. If people ask you how are you doing you are supposed to say "Mhmm could have been better" or "not really good actually."
Cause if you honestly say "Hey I am great!!! I'm doing really good at school, I have the best friends in the world and my family is making me really happy" it means that you're showing off and you want to make people jealous.
That's the reason why I'm done with howareyou questions.
When I'm doing really bad I usually don't want a lot of people to know. I'm not that kind of person, I don't want everyone to feel sorry for me. And I know people know how to hurt you when you are not strong enough to defend yourself.
And when I'm doing really good.. I need to talk about it a little more than just answer the howareyou question.
But actually I've been thinking about this "howareyou" problem a lot lately.
It's really funny and ironic but for the past few weeks (or even months) I've been doing really good. I mean it. Of course I have a bad days, couple of fights and other problems but if I'd write down my +/- list it would be pretty positive.
But at the same time it seems like my life is a one big bad luck for the past two or three weeks. Seriously!
Everytime I come to the bus stop I see the bus leaving. Everytime!!! I always forget my wallet at home, I'm loosing my keys and my cellphone 2 times a day (on an average), I spent 4 hours in two days waiting in an office to get one stupid certification and they always told me that the system failed, when I'm finally lucky enough to catch my bus I always forget to get off at the right place, I get lost at the places and I have to ask people to help me, my cellphone dies every single time I actually NEED it... it's all creepy!!! But I'm having so much fun. Honestly! It makes me smile. I feel like Jepichodov character in Checkov's play The Cherry Orchard.
It seems to be my destiny.
Yes I don't really enjoy missing my bus three times a day but it doesn't ruin my life (at least I hope) so it's fun.
But let's get to the point. I realized that I am really happy. I mean it. I have a lot of work to do and that work makes me really happy. I enjoy every minute thinking about the choreography I'm working on. I got together the best dancers I could ever prayed for and we have a lot of fun working on it. I have no problem with my family and friends I see their love every single minute and dude that's so awesome! It really is!!! I love when people ask me for help or when they offer me to join some interesting project, I love playing mikado and watching spongebob with my little sister and I love singing and reading her "An Awesome Book". I love singing and dancing in the night when I'm walking my dog. I love bringing yummi things to school so it can make our rough day not that rough. I love my week being really busy, I love not having a day off (of course I need it sometimes but that actually makes it so special). I am just enjoying my life. Not 100% but 10000%. I haven't had a sleepless night for more then 3 months probably because I just always fall asleep immediately after an amazing busy day.
And what breaks my heart is that people are too scared or just to blind to admit that their life is pretty amazing too. That they should be really happy and enjoy every minute of it.
I fully realized this friday. I spent two hours volunteering in an orphanage as every friday.
But this friday I took care of a little girl named Kristyna (just like my little sister).
She is one of the most beautiful kids I've ever seen. She has big blue eyes, smooth blonde hair and an angel face. She's 4 years old and man... she is the sweetest and the most grateful kid I've ever seen. Those two hours we spent by reading books, painting and playing boardgames seemed like ten minutes to me. And when I had to leave her crying and asking me if I'm ever coming back it just broke my heart.
Literally.
Wonderful beautiful child like her was begging me not to leave her...
And I'm asking you. All of you people who keep complaining about your cellphones, about your computers, about your job, about your partner, about your parents...
How are you? Are you really that bad? Would you beg a strange girl to come to see you again cause you have nobody else in this world? No??
Where the heck is the problem then???
I am sorry for being offensive.. but this just breaks my heart. I am not saying that I am perfect. Nobody is. I know I've done a lot of really bad things in my life and some of them are still showing up even though I'm really trying to forget and never do them again. But as one wise boy said "That's my history and I can't change it. It's a part of me."
This is exactly how I feel. I'm really sorry for all the bad things I've done. I am.
I could spend whole day apologizing and it would still not be enough.
I can't change what happened. I could never join those facebook groups like "I hate liars" or
"I hate bitches who cheat" cause I've been there.
But I can try not to do those things again.
Be honest to myself. Be good. Be happy.
And when somebody asks me "How are you?" the answer will be "Great!".
I'm pretty sure about that.
No comments:
Post a Comment