diggin' the dancing queen.

I had a really really bad mood Tuesday when I came home in the evening. I listened to all those really depressing songs sitting with my head in my hands and I felt like... like a completely empty bottle. Before I went to sleep I wrote that creepy list of things that are worth waking up Wednesday morning. Apple pie, wine with Adam, coffee with Tom, books to read, IC screening etc... not the longest list though.

I couldn't sleep the whole night. I was just rolling in my bed struggling with all those depressing thoughts and trying to fall asleep when then, suddenly at 3:23 am I got a text message. I felt like - oh God this had better be a bad joke.

I opened the message and it said "Diggin' the dancing queen. I'm thinking of you."

Yes I got this crazy message at 3:23 am from the most amazing person in the world, Tamara. She really is that awesome. We never had a fight, I was never mad at her, I was never even close to be, we never lied to each other, she always tells me the truth even if I don't really want to hear it (which for me is the point of a real friendship), she is always here for me no matter what time is it just as I am here for her, but... this was different.

We didn't really talk since Christmas because I knew she was all very busy with her school projects and finals and so I just didn't feel like making her life even more difficult. But for some specific reason she texted me at 3:23 am while I was seriously thinking about how wonderful would it be just to never wake up again. She didn't (and she still doesn't actually) know what is going on with me, I never told her, but I just feel like she knows. I just feel like she is the closest person even though she's so faraway.

I never responded that message. I never said thank you. This is my thank you.

It took me quite a long time to write this because I just didn't know how to write it so that it wouldn't sound stupid. But for me that message honestly was a sign. One big reason to wake up few hours later. Because I knew there is someone who cares even at 3:23 am.

And every day I feel like there is more and more people. Closest people who show me their care, love and interest every single minute. Thank you, everyone.

And thank you dancing queen because you are... super special!!!

(I got another late night text message last night. Very unexpected one. It was not Tamara this time. It was another very special person. And there were another lyrics in the message. But to be honest - it didn't make me feel as good as the last lyrics-sms. It made me feel confused...)